After appearing on The Bachelor nearly 20 years ago, former contestant LaNease Adams is opening up about her experience on the show.
At 23, Adams appeared on the first season of the popular show where she ended up being one of the final eight women vying for the heart of Alex Michel.
READ MORE: ‘The Bachelor’ announces 1st Black lead for season 25
She was the first woman who kissed Michel, and she recently recounted in a new essay for Women’s Health, the backlash she received.
She said that she later found a photo of their kiss on a white supremacist website with what she called “terrible comments about how disgusting it was to have people of two different races kissing.”
In the essay, she said finding that photo made her feel scared and helpless.
Adams said that her experience on the show led her to self-medicate by drinking and taking pills. She explained that she didn’t have the “coping skills to help navigate through the pain and heartbreak.”
The actress said that she was eventually hospitalized, something which she calls her “lowest point.”
“Laying in the hospital, I thought, ‘You put your trust and your faith into everyone else And now, look, you’re here by yourself— about to die, basically.”
She said that following her one week stay in the hospital that she was able to break her self-medicating cycle and began therapy. She then slowly started getting her life back under control.
In the essay, Adams said she was deeply affected by the negative aspects and racism on the show because she had never experienced it growing up in a “melting pot” community in Los Angeles.
The moving essay comes as The Bachelor recently announced its first-ever Black male lead, Matt James.
READ MORE: Rachel Lindsay considers cutting ties with ‘The Bachelor’ due to racism
Adams developed her own line of organic soaps called Fountain of Youth Bath. She said that she hopes Black contestants on the reality dating show have a better experience.
“Hopefully, it’s a lot easier for Black women and men to appear on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette now, even if they do experience some racial backlash,” she wrote. “I hope it’s not as tough on them as it was on me.”
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