This might be obvious but being a parent is expensive AF
OPINION: Parenting is a fulfilling and wonderful experience but it is a constant run on your pockets — all day, every day.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
Let me start by saying that I have four children, ranging in age from nearly 15 to 3. So I understand that my expense-lot in life is going to be much higher than a person who doesn’t have as many. I get that. But I think that just makes my life MORE expensive, not that fewer kids make life inexpensive if that makes sense. I think it does.
I just wanted to put that out there early so you have context on this rave and rant. Cool? Cool.
Yo, kids are expensive. I used to be one of those people who would tell you that kids really aren’t THAT expensive. I don’t know why I would say such a foolish thing short of timing. You see, babies … aren’t that expensive. Sure, diapers are a constant expense as can be baby food, formula, etc. But if the baby is being breastfed, those costs can be much lower early on. Little ones, if you’re lucky, aren’t in daycare immediately and the pandemic had a ton of folks working from home so I would assume that for some, daycare costs weren’t as bad as they could be.
But as my kids get older and grow, it seems like every single day costs at least $100. It’s as if I have to PAY to get through the day; every day is the club, and I’m buying drinks for everybody.
Between sports activities (which are INSANELY priced even if they all are reasonable-ish?) growing children’s need for clothing and shoes that fit, food, activities, food, food, iPhone/iPad data, toys, gas to get kids to and from wherever, food — and did I mention food? — the activities of daily living are whipping my derriere.
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For instance, at two of my kids’ school, we have to pay for them to be in aftercare a couple of days a week. The cost is actually quite reasonable, except I have two kids so every day is almost double (there is a sibling discount). But then the kids want to do after-school activities in aftercare, which costs on top of that. As it turns out, the after-school activities that cost more than just aftercare are worthwhile endeavors and could make me millions one day so I’m playing the long game. The long game costs money now. But we also have these same kids in sporting activities; I really have no idea how my parents kept me in sports year-round — I also grew up in a house with four active kids. Between new shoes for the sports and activity costs and costs to practice and such, it’s like the costs of letting my kids play outside in an organized capacity might require a second (or third, really) job. I jokingly mentioned food several times a few bars back. The snack budget in my house right now is the kind of thing we just don’t speak of out loud. When my daughter and two oldest sons get together, it’s a mess. Between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m., somehow they will have gone through full boxes of multisnack packs. How? I have no clue — as far as I can see, they’re all asleep. I think they might be gremlins, real talk. All I know is that eating me out of house and home used to make me laugh and now it feels like a certainty. I think that’s why we put kids out at 18, honestly. Otherwise, they’d literally eat you out of house and home.
Right now, I have to go out and buy some new shoes for at least two of my kids. My daughter got multiple new shoes for Christmas because I had just bought new shoes for the other kids in November. It’s January in African America, and my oldest son has already outgrown the shoes I just got. Thankfully, he’s a soccer phenom so hopefully within the next 10 years or so, he’ll sign a billion-dollar contract with some European football club, and I won’t have to work again. Is that a real goal? Yes, it is. So I will go buy him the shoes today.
One of my other sons? Now he needs glasses. You can’t just buy one pair because one pair means there is a guaranteed break in the future, which will require both repair AND a new spare set of glasses. It never stops. Ever.
I won’t even get started on the size (and cost) of the vehicle I had to get because of how many kids I have. Nobody in 2024 needs four kids; I have no farm.
If you’re in the market for parenthood, let me say this: Being a parent is awesome. I love my kids; they’re a lot of fun, and even if they drive me absolutely crazy, they’re mine so it’s fine. They teach me things about myself (good and bad) and have allowed me to grow as a person. At the same time, that growth is costing me out the wazoo. When I meet adults without kids, I just think about all the disposable income they must have and the sizes of their savings accounts. Size matters, as they say. I have no disposable income. I have income my kids haven’t cost me yet.
Kids are expensive.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest), but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said: “Unknown” (Blackest).
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