Tabitha Brown is loved by millions for her unapologetic approach to life, family, and food. The author and incluencer joins Writing Black to dive into her latest book, “I Did a New Thing,” which challenges readers to break out of their routines and try new things. Brown is honest about the struggles she faced following her own advice and gets vulnerable as she discusses health challenges, missing her mother, and making changes to her inner circle.
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[00:00:00] theGrio: You are now listening to theGrio’s Black Podcast Network, Black Culture Amplified.
[00:00:06] Maiysha Kai: Hello and welcome to Writing Black. I am your host, Maisha Kai, Lifestyle Editor here at theGrio. And today we have one of my favorite guests. I say favorite because I had the absolute pleasure and privilege of interviewing her last year for another Grio franchise, Masters of the Game.
[00:00:23] And she has graciously come back to join us. She is a bestselling author, but you might know her best. Oh, sorry. And an Emmy winner. And an Emmy winner, but you might know her best from her incredible online presence. Uh, that’s right. I’m talking about Tabitha Brown, one of my favorite guests. Tabitha, how are you?
[00:00:44] Welcome.
[00:00:45] Tabitha Brown: Thank you. So sweet
[00:00:48] Maiysha Kai: As are you, which is why I was so tickled to be able to talk to you again. And I’m especially tickled because of this book, your latest book. “I Did a New Thing”. Uh, this is a delightful read, uh, you know, as, as one would expect from you. I, I was actually somewhat, I don’t want to say surprised, you know, I’d read Feeding the Soul, your, your first bestseller and, uh, really enjoyed that, found it surprising and moving in ways that I, you know, had not expected.
[00:01:18] Uh, and this book did something totally different for me. So I’d love to hear from you, uh, just kind of. You know, I always like to ask about the genesis of a book. Like, how did, how did this one evolve for you?
[00:01:30] Tabitha Brown: Um, first of all, I’m glad that you felt something different, right? Cause it’s a new thing. You know, they’re completely different, right?
[00:01:41] Feeding the Soul was more about how I found my way to like tab, right? You know, finding my, my freedom again, “I Did a New Thing” is about how you can find it. Like me showing you some of the things that I do to open up even more of my freedom, open up more about myself, find out new discoveries. About myself, because we all are forever changing, right?
[00:02:04] So sometimes we don’t know what we like. We get in a stage where we we’ve done it all and we are in routine and we don’t know what we like right now. And the only way to figure out a new thing that you like is trying something new, or when you figure out, you know what, I actually don’t like doing this anymore, or I don’t like this thing.
[00:02:22] Right. So it was all about that for me. I wanted to kind of share my experience of doing a new thing, which I’ve been doing for years. But now I get to do it in a free space, right? I’m a whole free woman, and so I get to do it and, and share that with others, with the hope of like pushing other people to do the same, you know, discovering something new about themselves.
[00:02:43] Maiysha Kai: You know? I love that. And I, I actually, I neglected to say the tagline here, which is 30 Days to Living Free. That’s what you see in the fine print down here. You guys, um, you know, I, I, I have to say, you know, this book, when I say it surprised me, it. You think, you think, you know, a person, I’m just kidding. I think people who think they know, you know, what you’re about, you know, we see you in Target, we see you on the TV, we see you, we see, you know, and, you know, we know that you’re this warm, ingratiating presence.
[00:03:13] One of the things I loved. in this book is, you know, you kind of do give us this kind of clue into how this began for you and that everything that we now know, us public people, as, uh, Tabitha Brown actually started with something like this, with a 30 day challenge. You challenged yourself to eat vegan for 30 days.
[00:03:35] You were having health issues. You decided to try something new. And here we are now. Uh, it’s so interesting to me too, because around the same time you were doing that, I decided to try an entirely new career. So here we are. I’m a big advocate for trying something new. I call it the power of the pivot, but I like, I like where you’re going with, with, with, “I Did a New Thing”.
[00:03:56] Um, you know, one of the distinct differences from Feeding the Soul is that obviously Feeding the Soul was a little more of a straightforward memoir. This almost feels. And correct me if I’m wrong, please correct me if I’m wrong. Um, like we’re with you in real time, like we are like following you, following along with you, like you’re journaling, you know, like we got a, we got a little glimpse of the Tabs diary.
[00:04:18] What, what is the, uh, what was the process here? Kind of getting this, this book together?
[00:04:24] Tabitha Brown: You hit it on the head, honey. It was like a journaling process. Absolutely. So, um, and that’s the only way to do it, right? Because it had to be kind of in real time. There was some moments where. You know, it may have been like a day or two in different timing, um, but it was all in real time.
[00:04:41] And I wanted to share that so that, you know, other people could feel like, Oh, exactly like you said, Oh, I’m with her right now. Like, Oh, if they’re doing it, I can do it in real time as well. And also that’s how you are true to it. Right. Everything I have, I built my whole brand on my word and just on being Tab.
[00:05:02] And so I had to do it in real time and tell the truth about my experiences. And how I felt in the moment. Uh, sometimes when you’re writing. If even if journaling, if you don’t write it right, then you’re not giving the, the, the true feeling after the feeling fades, it goes into something else. You don’t necessarily feel the exact same way.
[00:05:25] And so, um, I was doing a lot of voice recording girl. Honey, I was in real time. I had to like, you know, thank God for Tracey because I was seeing her voice recorders like, girl, you gotta, you gotta write this up, girl. Um, but it had to be a real time, you know, I talk about going, uh, to get a mammogram for the first time.
[00:05:44] Yeah. So I was, I was literally voice recording while I was in the dressing room, you know, putting on my, uh, you know, the little hospital gown and all the things. I’d missed my first one because it was scheduled at the beginning of the pandemic when everything shut down. But I’d finally gotten my first appointment, and now I was back for a follow up.
[00:06:02] I initially didn’t think too much of the doctor asking me to get another mammogram, one that uses a different and way more intense cup to compress the breast. I just figured that like many women, my breasts had what is often called high density and this was a precaution, but it was more than that. After they did the mammogram, the doctor said there was something seen on the film that was of concern and asked me to move to the ultrasound room so they could get a better look.
[00:06:29] So. That, that stuff is so important because I want people to feel like, oh wait, I’m in there with her. I know how she feels. I can almost feel her heartbeat. You know, that was the goal for me. So yeah.
[00:06:40] Maiysha Kai: Yeah. And as someone who has gone through that exact experience that you described, I, I was like, that is exactly how it feels.
[00:06:47] I think the whole, the whole experience. The whole thought process, like this is exactly the arc right there. So it was very honest and it definitely came through. You know, you just mentioned somebody very special who was part of the process of making this book. And, you know, I’m I’m big on shouting out all the contributors and in the formation of something.
[00:07:04] And you shout her out as well. Tell me a little bit about Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts.
[00:07:11] Tabitha Brown: Oh, honey. Uh, Tracey. First of all, I can’t write a book without her that I don’t want to write a book without her. I’d get my cookbook, of course, without her, but because that ain’t her thing. Um, but she has helped me be the best writer and I always shout her out.
[00:07:26] I don’t, you know, I don’t, I don’t believe in like the ghost writing thing for me, right? Cause I tell my story for real, but I also know, I don’t know how to necessarily format everything. And I can send it to Tracey and she can help me format. I’ve, I’ve seen my, like my voice recordings. I sent all my typed up notes to her.
[00:07:48] Like, and she is. He’s a godsend. She’s like my angel. I love her. And of course, she’s an amazing author herself. So she is. Yes. I feel like she’s my mentor, right? Which is, which is why I always, you know, uh, put her names in my book. I always talk about her. I always uplift her. And it’s so crazy. I’ve had so many authors, I’ll call them authors, um, who, who have said to me, oh, you, you, you don’t, you shouldn’t talk about the person who helps you.
[00:08:15] I was like, you why would you not talk about the person who helps you write your book? Like, who does that? And then I realized in reading books, I go through and I’m like, Oh, they don’t mention that person who helped them. Why? Like, to me, it’s almost, I don’t want to shame anybody because that’s their business.
[00:08:36] But it’s almost like you tell them the live, you say you did it all on your own and nobody helped you. Like I’m only as strong as my, my network, right? I’m only as strong as my team. And Tracey is part of my team. And without her, I couldn’t get this done. You know, I have a crazy schedule and honey, you know, it’d be 2 in the morning.
[00:08:55] I’d be sending her messages, voice notes at 2 in the morning. Like, you know, I woke up and I’m like, Oh God, I got to put this in the book. And, you know, I’m typing up stuff late at night. I’m typing it in. Sending it to her and I know stuff is misspelled or, or formatted wrong and she gon fix it for me. She gon make sure it’s fixed.
[00:09:09] is perfect for Tab, you know, and without her, I couldn’t do that. So I love her. She is a godsend. Make sure y’all get all her, her books when she write them, honey. She is Black joy. Let me just tell you that.
[00:09:21] Maiysha Kai: She is actually, she’s a phenomenal writer. Um, you know, and, and both of her own work and of those that she assists in, in helping bring their work to fruition.
[00:09:29] You know, I always like to say people talk about, now I don’t have children, but people always talk about, it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to. get a book out, whether you’re talking about agents or co writers or editors or whoever. Uh, so I personally appreciate that you did that as an editor myself.
[00:09:47] I appreciate, uh, that shout out. Uh, we are going to talk more about “I Did a New Thing, 30 Days to Living Free” by our friend Tabitah Brown in just a second when we come back with more Writing Black.
[00:10:03] theGrio: It’s the secret story you haven’t been told. Good morning, comrade. The Harlem Renaissance and the Soviet Union. Renowned poet Langston Hughes and some of his Harlem Renaissance friends were given the opportunity of a lifetime. Travel to the Soviet Union to make a movie. We are here to do something grand, and we must look the part.
[00:10:27] But not just any movie. A communist propaganda film for a Black American audience. The project is meant to inspire a revolution here. If Russians believed in our revolution, nothing can stop us. Young, Black and free to enjoy life without rigid rules on race and sex. They do not do this sort of thing in Boston.
[00:10:49] Sure they do, they just don’t invite you. But trouble soon followed. How are we supposed to make a world class film with this? A bunch of amateurs. No! Give it back now! She took a drink from a bottle thinking it was wine. Turns out it was formaldehyde. This trip was lost to time. Until now. Harlem in Moscow is an audio drama based on the true story of this pivotal moment in Black history.
[00:11:17] Join us for the exciting adventure to the Soviet Union. The Revolution! Listen to Harlem in Moscow, starring Grammy award winning poet and producer J. Ivy on theGrio Black Podcast Network or wherever you get your podcasts. Starting on March 25th. We’ve been screwed.
[00:11:46] Maiysha Kai: And we are back with Tabitha Brown and her new book. “I Did a New Thing”. You know, this book, um, You know, I, I think I’m a person who, who does new things all the time. I like to think that, that I am, uh, it definitely inspired me to do new things. I don’t know that I’d ever thought of it in the context of living free.
[00:12:05] I would love for you to further explain how you feel this is a conduit for people to live freer, to, uh, you know, really expand their horizon, so to speak.
[00:12:19] Tabitha Brown: So you know how, um, we are creatures of habit, right? Yeah. You know, we wake up at a certain time every day, we might eat the same thing every day, you know, uh, maybe it’s one of two things that you might eat for breakfast every morning.
[00:12:32] That’s your go to, that’s your go to lunch thing, um, you, you have your go to way you go to work, whether you work from home or if you’re going there, like, everything is routine.
[00:12:42] Hmm. And routine sometimes doesn’t give you freedom. Cause you, you, you, you, you don’t want to stray away from it. Oh, I might be late if I stray away from the routine.
[00:12:51] Oh, it might not work out the way, you know, I normally do it if I stray away from the routine. That’s kind of putting ourself in a little box. When you are living free, you don’t mind like, you know what? I’m gonna try something different this morning. What if it changes how I feel today? Right? I’m not going to drive that way to work today.
[00:13:09] You know why? Because I can and that’s my business and I’m free to do so. You know, it’s living without fear. Um, it’s also, even if you have fear, it’s also like, well, so, so what I’m going to do it anyway. No, the pain is not completely gone, but acupuncture has helped me deal with it so much better. I know now that my resistance to doing something out of the box is usually driven by fear.
[00:13:34] And if I come across something else new to do, I will isolate the real issue and make my determination from there. If it’s just fear, then I will decide if it’s rational. I know now that I wasn’t going to have a bunch of holes in my body causing me to bleed out. Yes, that sounds ridiculous, but let’s just say I have a very vivid imagination.
[00:13:54] It was just my fear of the unknown holding me back. And if I can get myself to truly see that the benefits of a thing are greater than any potential negatives, then maybe it won’t take me as long to make a move. That’s freedom. Freedom is being willing to try something new despite whatever may happen, right?
[00:14:12] But it’s also the way that we figure out, Ooh, I really do like this. Or, Ooh, I don’t like that. But how do we know if we, if we can keep doing this same old thing all the time? And a lot of times we don’t even realize that we’re stuck in a routine. And that we haven’t done anything new. Because we’re just so conditioned to keep going.
[00:14:32] Uh, and so that’s my hope, is to help people in that freedom. Right. To like, you know what, doing something new did change how I feel. It could be as simple as a new lipstick, you know, even a new, a new look, right? A new outfit. Like I talked about my birthday dress last year. Your red dress. Yes. I wore a dress that was, was, was hugging the hips right now.
[00:14:52] I’ve lost weight since, but it was, it was something that I didn’t realize I was dealing with.
[00:14:58] I was like, I, you know, for a while I had started wearing and I look and I still wear like loose clothes. Cause I just love like free flowing stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there was a time where I used to wear a lot of flight form fitting things.
[00:15:09] And as I had gained weight and allowed myself to gain weight and be okay with it, I realized as much as I was okay with gaining the weight, I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable in the clothes the same way I used to feel. It felt like, cause look, tab, hip , thighs, and fries, okay? And the attention that I was getting, I didn’t necessarily like.
[00:15:29] And I realized like, oh, why don’t I like that? You know, I mean, I know I have, you know, certain things that I keep for my husband. But sometimes it’s like, girl, it’s just a body. As my daughter would say, mommy, girl, it’s just your body. It’s just your curves. Like what’s wrong with that. But I, I wouldn’t have realized that if I didn’t say, you know what this, I’m gonna wear something different, you know, I’m gonna go outside of my normal.
[00:15:49] I’m gonna wear a little something that’s a little more form fitting. And everybody kept saying that this is a crazy thing. What I realized is now I, in my mind, like, Oh, I, I had gained like a good 15 pounds like during the pandemic, like most of us, probably 20. Okay. Then I had to get off, but I was wearing loose clothes so much that when I wore that dress, everybody kept saying, girl, you lost weight.
[00:16:11] I’m like, but it’s because I always wear bigger clothes that people never saw my body. And it, I was just like, oh my God, I have like held myself kind of hostage. Out of fear of, of causing too much attention to my body. And that’s also not a free thing. And so I had to break free of that. And so now I’ve even been challenged myself, you know, even more to like, no girl, what would you want to wear?
[00:16:37] Like, it’s all right if they see a little hip, thigh, and fry, okay. Oh, and my husband loved it. Okay. He’d be like, Oh, I like that. You know, so, but yeah, it’s, it’s, that’s how we, we get free by trying new things and also checking ourselves when we realize, oh, that something is, is bothering us or why we don’t do a thing. Right. So.
[00:16:56] Maiysha Kai: Yeah.
[00:16:57] Tabitha Brown: Yeah.
[00:16:57] Maiysha Kai: Yeah. You know, you were talking a little bit about earlier, you were saying, well, you know, I don’t necessarily know how to format a book or, you know, but you and Tracey do this incredible thing in this book where I found it incredible because I think it really also really honors, you know, this amazing community that you’ve built and that, and that, and I guess in many ways also helped build you, you know, uh, which is to incorporate their stories in this book, their stories of, um, unlocking something new, you know, new level unlocked as we like to say, what about the, this particular selection of stories?
[00:17:30] I assume there were many to choose from that people submitted. Um, but what about this particular selection of kind of vignettes and stories, um, was, was so, uh, intriguing to you, so gripping?
[00:17:44] Tabitha Brown: You know what? They were so inclusive, right? And, and Tracey, of course, um, cause, cause my thing was, I was like, I want people to follow me on my journey, but I also want them to know, like, I really want them to do this too.
[00:17:59] And so Tracey was like, well, how about we do like a couple of people? And, you know, she was like, I can, I can source some people and get their stories in and have them try some new things and incorporate that. I was like, Oh girl, I love that. Right. And so. Like, there’s one where, uh, she got on the slide, right?
[00:18:16] Did you, you, you I love that one.
[00:18:18] Maiysha Kai: Yes.
[00:18:18] Tabitha Brown: That’s like finding the child inside of you again, connecting back to the thing that gave you joy. When I got to the top, it dawned on me that it was a very different view up there when you’re in your thirties, as opposed to a kindergartner. It certainly didn’t look as big or intimidating as it may have looked to me as a child, but something still shifted in me.
[00:18:40] When I instinctually put my hands in the air and released my body down the slide, it was like a powdered keg of joy that exploded in my chest. And when I made it to the bottom of the slide, I looked up at my friend and she was just smiling so hard. I smiled back at her when I heard it. The sudden sound of applause.
[00:19:02] There were at least five moms and two dads who were giving me a full ovation. And so I was like, oh, I got to have that so I can show people that it’s okay to tap back into your childlike inner. Those are, those are the things that I want people to. To recognize in the book, like, oh, Tab is one person, but these are people that are also everyday people, just like me, you know, I’m an everyday person as well.
[00:19:24] But sometimes people will see me and put me in a different pedestal, even though I don’t have to stand there, but they’ll put me there. Right. But it’s like, no, I’m an everyday person, but look at these other people who are doing the same things that you may be doing or enjoy the, some of the same things that you used to enjoy and have decided that the old thing can now be a new thing again.
[00:19:44] Maiysha Kai: That was one of my favorite things. I think that that, you know, we do get so lost in the minutia of adult life and the, and the routines of adult life. And that was a motif that came up again and again, you know, speaking in that writer, writer speak, right. The motif, but you know, this, this idea of like, not forgetting that child.
[00:20:05] We hear, you know, well, you know, psychologists will speak about nurturing your inner child and things like that. But this felt very tactical. It felt very, um, relatable to me personally, in terms of, Oh yeah, I did love to do that thing. I love to do a puzzle or I love to, to, you know, draw a thing. And I never do that anymore.
[00:20:22] You know, like those kinds of things, uh, that I thought were so fun. But I also loved that you, um, attached to this to very, I think, uh, relatable aspects of adulthood, like raising children, that sometimes the new thing that you found was something to share with your child, right? Um, and I, I, I, I think this is always an interesting thing for writers when you are integrating your real life into something.
[00:20:50] Um, and you do it. Pretty, I think pretty generously, you know, obviously, you know, the world knows your husband.
[00:20:56] Tabitha Brown Youtube: This is
[00:20:58] I’m Tenz, what’s up?
[00:20:59] Honey, bring the beat in.
[00:21:05] Friday, it’s Friday.
[00:21:08] Maiysha Kai: A lot of us know your daughter through social, you know. at least virtually, right? We think we know these people. Um, more and more we’re seeing your son. Uh, tell me about how you kind of like find that balance of like what you want to share, what you don’t want to share, how you work with your family on what you want to I guess share with the rest of the world?
[00:21:35] Tabitha Brown: You know, family is first for me, right?
[00:21:39] So I can share so much about Tab and it’s whatever I feel safe with sharing. But when it comes to my family, it’s whatever makes them feel comfortable. Yeah.
[00:21:50] You know, uh, when it comes to Chance, if you were a long time follower, people know in the very beginning, you would never see him. You just hear his voice.
[00:21:58] And now he’s on a whole podcast, telling me we need to do more. I’m like, you know what? Okay. Okay. Um, but you know, very early on, my daughter would, you know, uh, when I would cook last, she would come on and give her a little sprinkle of Jesus as she used to call it. She had a little thing that she would read to the people when I was cooking and she was in high school then.
[00:22:20] And my son was, he was five. He could barely even see over the countertop. And people have seen them grow up in the last six years. Um, even with, uh, with my stepdaughter, uh, she came in and live with us after she graduated from, uh, college for a while. She never wanted to really be on camera. She’d be like, I don’t want to be on camera, I don’t want to be on camera.
[00:22:38] And then sometimes she would pop in, sometimes she wouldn’t. And she realized, you know, very soon, like, that ain’t her thing, necessarily, you know? Um, and I always respected that. I didn’t want to make anybody feel uncomfortable. And so I was just like, okay, I know what I’m, I’m comfortable on the cam. The camera don’t bother me, but everybody is not the same.
[00:22:58] So I always respect my family and their wishes and what they feel comfortable with. And my son, he 11 child. Some days he might be cool with being on camera and some days he’d be like, I don’t want to do it. I’m like, okay, all right. You ain’t got to, you know, cause I’d be like, let mommy do your hair. You know, I’m doing gonna recipe.
[00:23:14] Okay. Let mommy do your hair. He’d be like, okay, but I don’t want to be on the camera. I don’t want to talk. I was like, you ain’t got to talk. Mommy’s just going to do it. But I feel like he doesn’t even feel comfortable with that. Then I won’t show it, you know? So it’s, it’s really what my family feels. I, I am big on making sure that they feel comfortable because also I’m just mama and I’m wife, right?
[00:23:36] Tabitha Brown is who I am. But for a lot of people, it’s like, oh, that’s the brand of Tabitha Brown. But at home I’m Tab and I’m mama, right? And that’s it. And I want my kids and my husband to always feel that. Uh, but I always share things that I feel, uh, can help people, right? To also show how relatable I am.
[00:23:57] I’m a real, real woman out here. Like, like I told you, I’m going through perimenopause and I’ve been sharing about that, Lord have mercy. Woo. Try not to have a hot flash as we speak. Uh, but it’s, it’s really about just being, uh, true to myself. And there’s sometimes where it’s things where I’m going through something.
[00:24:15] Like, if I don’t share a little bit of this. Then I don’t feel like I can be completely real in, in my videos. So I got to share this because then it’s like, Oh, now some stuff is private and it ain’t nobody’s business. Okay. I’ve been with my husband for 26 years. A whole lot of things that y’all don’t know.
[00:24:32] People think they know they don’t know. Right. Um, and, and family stuff is private, but I will share what I’m comfortable with sharing as long as my family is comfortable sharing.
[00:24:41] Maiysha Kai: Absolutely. Um, I love that.
[00:24:43] And we’re going to talk a little bit more in just a second, we will be right back with more writing Black and more Tabitha Brown.
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[00:25:15] theGrio Daily with Michael Harriot every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday on theGrio Black Podcast Network, and accessible wherever you find your favorite podcasts.
[00:25:25] Maiysha Kai: All right, we are back with Tabitha Brown, who has written her latest book, “I Did a New Thing, 30 Days to Living Free”. Uh, you know, I consider you a friend of theGrio at this point, Tabitha.
[00:25:36] And, you know, I know that there are legions who consider you their friend. Uh, one of the things that really stuck out to me in this book, and it was a, a, a part for me, I don’t want to call it a trigger, but it was definitely a part that I think, it definitely triggered some, some tears for me. Like I, you know, because you, um, dig into something that I think we are getting a little more comfortable talking about in general.
[00:25:58] But, um, You know, obviously when we’re children, like, you know, friendships feel very, you know, high stakes and blah, blah, blah, but we don’t give as much respect to how those kind of transitions in and out of friendships occur when we’re adults, how difficult it is to manage those relationships sometimes, how, they don’t always allow us that space to live free or expand, I guess I should say, to grow in certain ways.
[00:26:26] Um, you know, I think you wrote about that in a really poignant way. There was, there was something there that, again, for me, really struck, struck a chord that was really deep and, and, you know, sharp. And I, I, I kind of wanted to talk to you a little bit about that. You know, obviously your life has changed dramatically and within the space of a decade.
[00:26:46] And, um, and in some ways it sounds like in ways that you’ve had to kind of run to catch up with. So I can only imagine how the rest of your circle, but I think, you know, obviously this is a show about writers and writing, but it’s also a show about living, you know, and how we bring that to our work, how, you know, particularly as, as Black writers and in this conversation, Black women, um, there is sometimes that need to be everything to everybody.
[00:27:16] And there’s that, that need to, or that, that desire at least, um, and that realization that we can’t be right. And that sometimes there’s not enough space. Um, yeah. When you wrote, uh, those passages, um, obviously, you know, you’re, you’re now recognized pretty widely. Did you, did you think about like, whether or not this would be an opening, you know, for conversations that maybe needed to happen?
[00:27:46] Or did you think of it more as like a, And that’s that on that, you know, or as you might say, very good, you know.
[00:27:52] Tabitha Brown: You know how people, um, post on like Facebook and social media because they, they trying to get attention on it and they want somebody to call them or say something instead of saying it to the person they post about it?
[00:28:04] Maiysha Kai: Yes.
[00:28:06] Tabitha Brown: That ain’t what Tab do.
[00:28:07] Maiysha Kai: Okay.
[00:28:08] Tabitha Brown: Okay. So I said. What I said, right? Is that you would say, but no, I love and still love the friends that I had in their season and in ours, but I also live a life of obedience. I didn’t, um, close the door. I live a life of obedience, right? And so when God tells me that it’s time to close the chapter, I closed the chapter and I’m not going to argue with God about it.
[00:28:49] So I certainly won’t argue with anyone else about it. Now, do I still feel the pain of loss? Absolutely. I probably will for a long time. I keep thinking about the holidays and how I’d normally be celebrating with some of these same people, but I have to trust God and believe that He knows what’s best for me, that he is protecting me. Yes, it was one of the best, most fun chapters of life, but it’s a closed one now. Honey Tab is not going to sit here and pretend like intentionally letting someone close to you go doesn’t hurt. All the times I’ve had to do this, it definitely still pains me. And I think what hurts the most is that I thought the relationships were more than they were.
[00:29:29] He also will show me. He’ll give me every single piece. He’ll lay it out for me and he’ll say, look at what the friendship was. And as I looked at those friendships, I realized that a lot of them were one sided. I was doing a lot of pouring, a lot of trying to save, um, a lot of trying to keep, but they weren’t doing the same.
[00:29:55] And I had to be honest with myself and say, you know what, maybe I’m not, you know, the friend they need in the next season of their life. And maybe, you know, they’re not what I need. You know, that’s a hard thing to, to say and believe and digest, right? And to recognize. But what I realized is that when you, uh, when you truly get to a place where you are living in your freedom and living in truth, people who are not ready to live in their freedom, your freedom bothers them.
[00:30:40] It’s hard for them to be around. Um, it’s hard for them to digest. They were okay because y’all were both faking together for a long time. And now you’re not faking no more. You mean you’re going to be truthful and honest and live a free life? I’m not ready for that yet. I got to respect that. It’s no love lost.
[00:31:03] Honey, I ain’t on that journey no more. I ain’t got no more time to waste, not being free. If that’s the life that you want to hold yourself hostage to, by all means, honey, that’s your business. I love you. God bless you. But that doesn’t serve me anymore. And it actually never served me well. And so obedience then, as we say it, and we know it’s better than sacrifice.
[00:31:29] And I no longer wanted to sacrifice myself. Uh, in those relationships and, and, you know, I sent out, and I think I talk about this in the book, we had this thread that was forever and ever, we’ve had this friendship thread that, you know, big group of us on, and I sent this, you know, this, this, this closing chapter message in this thread and everyone who still, Loved Tab in her freeway and my family called me immediately or, or messaged me like, girl, no, I’m, I’m, I’m still with you, girl.
[00:32:03] Like I love you, you know, girl, are you okay? And the ones who did it, I haven’t spoken to since. So they let me know where they stood. I still love them and I wish them well. Um, but I gotta be Tab and I gotta do what God calls me to do. And if that upsets someone else’s spirit, that’s not on me. That’s work they have to do for them.
[00:32:26] And so that’s, that’s it. I don’t, I don’t do it to open up a conversation. Now I’m open to somebody, you know, wanting to call me up or, you know, say, you know, let’s have a conversation. There’s certain people that I’ll say, absolutely. We can have a conversation and sit down. But then there’s some people that I know God has told me not even a conversation.
[00:32:43] And until he tells me otherwise, that’s, that’s what it is.
[00:32:47] Maiysha Kai: You know, heard and received because I think we’ve all lived through that. I do, I really think we’ve all lived through some version of that in our lives, you know, whether it be a platonic relationship, a romantic relationship, a familial relationship, that is real, um, and I appreciate you, you sharing so much with us.
[00:33:02] I really wanted more of your perspective of that. I really felt like, uh, you know, that again, that, that was a, a chapter that really hit home with me. you know, because I think a lot of us struggle with making peace with, um, things not being eternal. And, uh, I really love the way that you approached it in the book.
[00:33:22] And I thought, you know, you, again, it was relatable. You know, you want to be related, you are, um, you know, there was always, to me, uh, there’s always a, in addition to Tracey, there’s always some other co writers present in your work. At least I’m seeing a theme emerge. Um, and I would say obviously one of them is God and the other one being your mother.
[00:33:42] She seems to be ever present. And I would, I dare say I would, I am not the only person who follows you who thinks, who feels like they know her as well. Like they’ve gotten to know her through you. Um, can we talk about writing Patricia and what that has done for you? I guess in the, in, in the continual process, as you know, as I think, you know, like grief is not a linear thing.
[00:34:06] It is not a finite thing. Um, and it’s not even always grief, right? Sometimes it’s celebration, but you know, again, you know, when we talk about writing on this show, I’m, I’m always so interested in all aspects of it. And you are a person who I think is, you know, uniquely positioned to talk about the very spiritual aspects of, of telling your story or telling any story, you know, sharing a story. Um, so I would love to hear. A, if you feel like she’s, she’s a bit of a co writer for you and, and how that, um, feeds your narrative, I guess, how, how her narrative feeds yours.
[00:34:45] Tabitha Brown: Uh, you know, it’s so funny that you said that because I was like, I want to do a movie called The Book of Patricia.
[00:34:52] Um, my mother, uh, God rest her soul, um, is forever present in my life. And she told me that these days would happen, right? But what she told me before is that, uh, people will know my name because of you and it always sticks with me and I do it intentionally and unintentionally, right? I just share because I just had such a great mother and a great relationship with her.
[00:35:31] And anytime somebody says her name or they talk about like the dimes, um, it blows my mind. Cause I’m like, Oh my goodness. You know, I share because it’s real for me, but it’s exactly what she said, you know, because the one thing she said, you know, not even death can stop your purpose. She was like, people will know who I am and what I was about because of you.
[00:35:58] You’re going to make sure of that. When I decided to try Mojave Ghost, It unlocked a part of my mind where my memories were held. Memories of my mama. While she’s no longer here, I experienced the gift of her presence in that moment. This new thing has triggered so many wonderful memories for me. And sometimes that’s the point.
[00:36:17] We don’t always have to look for the deep word or meaning in these efforts to try something new. Sometimes doing something you’d ordinarily not do simply puts you in a position to receive something sweet. And I didn’t know, you know, in 2007, how I would do that. Yeah. You know, I didn’t know what she meant by that, but I do now, right?
[00:36:39] And so I can’t tell stories and, you know, share things about my life without including her. She’s such a big part of it. Her life, to me, she sacrificed so that I could live the life that I live. You know, had my mother still been here, I wouldn’t be this Taya, you know, I believe that wholeheartedly she had to transition into a higher power in order to help me get to the next level of my life. And when I say that, I mean the next level of compassion, uh, the next level of understanding, um, the next level of belief, uh, spirituality, understanding my gifts, um, being more open to my gift, uh, not being afraid to share, you know, the gifts that I have, um, the experiences that I haven’t, you know, a lot of people are afraid of like supernatural things.
[00:37:47] My mother knew I had a gift. My mother had a gift. I used to be so afraid to share, you know, about this gift that I have. And before my mother passed, you know, she sat me down, or I sat beside her. She was in her hospital bed in her bedroom. And she said to me, are you ready to talk? And I said, talk about what?
[00:38:04] She said, about what you see. And she had known, you know, for years that I would have dreams and I would talk to her about it. But I never really told her about like the visions and stuff that I would see sometimes. Because that was kind of scary. And, uh, when she said it, it just validated me in that moment.
[00:38:22] Like, oh, I’m not crazy. She was like, it’s all right. You know, that’s your gift. God has given you so that you can see things that he needs to show you in spirit. Um, she said, but you will need help with that. You know, she did tell me that in that season of my life. And I would have never been able to be this Tab had, she not did that for me in those moments.
[00:38:45] You know, I always tell people, my mama died two times. She died September in 2006 and she came back and she lived a whole nother year and died the next September and that, that year was for me. I always say that she left so much with me in that year that I, I use every day that I feel every day. Um, I don’t exist without her, right?
[00:39:13] Like she gave me life, like God chose her. It’s the vessel to bring me through and I, I still have her in me. Like, it’s like she transferred something inside of me when she left earth and when she left here in the physical, but her spirit is just so strong, um, that even people, they be like, I found a diamond and I feel like it’s your mama.
[00:39:33] Like I’m talking about strangers that I’ve never met before. Right. And then, you know, you have some people and I grew up in the church, but I’m not religious. I’m very spiritual. And my mama later in her life was a pastor and she told me, she said, don’t you ever get caught up in religion. You get caught up with your relationship with God and you trust what he shows you and what he shows you alone.
[00:39:53] And so some people, they get so caught up in religion that they miss the opportunity to really see God and have a real relationship with him. And so sometimes, you know, people be like, Oh, girl, that’s witchcraft. Oh, girl, that’s, you know, you familiar spirits, girl, you, that’s, that’s demonic. It’s like seeing, talking about, you see dimes and it’s your mama, or, you know, you dream of, you know, dead people or, you know.
[00:40:17] You know, seeing your mama in dreams or whatever the case, and I’ll be like, I wish my prayer, I’d be like, God, please bless them with an experience to see you. Yeah. Yeah. So I wouldn’t have that if it wasn’t for my mother and I’ll never stop sharing. So, yes, she’s absolutely my co writer, honey. She my director, her and God up there.
[00:40:39] She producing. God is the director, honey. And she the AD. She be like, okay, yeah, that’s good. That’s good. I love it. I love it.
[00:40:47] Maiysha Kai: And I love, you know, again, I, I, I do think books are very spiritual. I think, you know, everything that we do in a creative space is a very spiritual thing. thing. Um, and you know, listen, as somebody who is also the daughter of a beloved mother named Patricia, I entirely empathize.
[00:41:04] And I, and I think, I think books are empathy. I do. I, I always said this, I say it anytime anybody asked me, I was like, books, books are a portal. They, they take you, you know, um, They take you to another place. And, and I love how much of that actually ends up on the pages of “I Did a New Thing”. Um, since we are talking about books as empathy now, you know, I know you were on the road a lot.
[00:41:26] Do you take books with you? And if you do, what do you read? Who do you read?
[00:41:32] Tabitha Brown: You know, what’s so crazy right now? I’m not necessarily reading. I’m reading scripts. Okay. Listen, they count.
[00:41:40] Maiysha Kai: We have, we have script writers on this show and see, that’s exciting. I think that’s exciting for us. We’re like, Oh, are you now?
[00:41:45] Tell us more.
[00:41:48] Tabitha Brown: I am. I’m actually about to do a film after, after I’m done with books, so I’m going to do a film. Um, I don’t know if I can really announce it yet, but I am, right. Crazy enough, when I’m writing, I don’t read books because I don’t want to be influenced.
[00:42:04] Maiysha Kai: I think that is common. I do. I think that’s very common.
[00:42:07] Yeah, yeah.
[00:42:07] Tabitha Brown: So it’s been a while since I’ve really read like a good book. It’s so funny, my logistic manager, Hope, he’s reading some new books. He’s like, girl, you got to read this. And they’re like, um, you know, stories and fun stuff. So I was like, oh, I can, I can, I can read that. That won’t influence me. You know, but, uh, hopefully, like, after I’m done with the film, I’ll be able to, like, open a book and, like, disappear inside, you know, a new world for a while.
[00:42:31] But it’s been, it’s been quite some time, uh, since I’ve read, uh, a book. I did, you know, I read certain things, like, um, I have a book, like, uh, uh, it’s, uh, uh, School of the Seers. Um, things where it pertains to my gifts, um, like the five prophets in the Bible, like different things that I’m just studying, um, per se, that God has called me to, to, to read and
[00:42:54] research and review. Um, but they’re not necessarily books because he doesn’t want me to read the book. He wants me to read pages if that makes sense. So, uh, but yeah, I don’t have, yeah, I don’t have anything right now that I can be like, oh, I’m reading this right now. So, um, but I get so many books, I got so many books at the house and I ain’t had time.
[00:43:15] Um, to read and, you know, I’ve been writing books.
[00:43:18] Maiysha Kai: The only thing about, about hosting a books podcast. I got a lot of books and, you know, I love that you actually said that sometimes God wants you to just read pages because one of the things that I did forget to ask you and I meant to, but this is a perfect ending question for us because I, I always want to know, especially with a book like this, that is so engaging and so interactive, um, how you hope people read this book.
[00:43:43] I mean, do you hope they will read it in one fell swoop? Or is this the kind of book that you feel like people can open it up day by day and get what they need and keep, you know what I mean? Because I love that it is really, it really is a range and wonderfully digestible bites for those people who don’t necessarily have the time to sit down and do the whole thing, you know?
[00:44:01] How do you envision people engaging with this book?
[00:44:04] Tabitha Brown: I want them to do it however it feels right for them. Right. That’s, that’s my thing. However, it feels right for them. Honey, do a new thing. If you normally read it from, you know, cover to cover real quick, maybe take it slow. You know, if you normally, you know, read it, um, slow, maybe speed it up a little bit, do something new with it, but do it your way.
[00:44:24] Uh, I do say it is fun if you read what I did on day one and then challenge yourself to do something new, then come back to it. So if you want 30 days to read it, honey, that’s your business. Take 30 days and do it as well. But however you do it, honey, it’ll be the right way for you.
[00:44:42] Maiysha Kai: Okay. I love that. You heard it here first.
[00:44:45] Do a new thing with Tablet of Rounds. “I Did a New Thing”. 30 days to Living Free. Tavitha, thank you so much for joining us here on Writing Black. It is always a pleasure to talk to you, and best of luck with all the things. We can’t wait to hear about the film, so I’m just gonna, I’m gonna sit tight for that news.
[00:45:02] I’m sure we’ll be reporting on it here at theGrio. That’s right, we will be here to talk about it at theGrio. So, thank you so, so much, and have an amazing, amazing day. Look,
[00:45:11] Tabitha Brown: I appreciate y’all. theGrio, I’m always so grateful for y’all. Y’all have always supported me, so thank you so much. Honey, look, until next time, y’all go about y’all business and have the most amazing day.
[00:45:21] But if you can’t have a good one, don’t you dare go messing up nobody else’s ya hear.
[00:45:26] Maiysha Kai: That part.
[00:45:27] Tabitha Brown: I’ll see you next time, hun. All right. Bye.
[00:45:31] Maiysha Kai: Well, listen, I love, love, love Tabitha Brown, in case it wasn’t obvious. Um, you know, it’s very rare that, uh, someone is,
[00:45:45] The same in real life as they are in their other personas. I, my experience of her has been exactly that. And I hope that all of that shown through and I highly recommend. “I Did a New Thing”. It will surprise you. It will delight you. And it’s, it’s just really a fun and engaging and sweet read. Um, but I think it’s also really, uh, proactive.
[00:46:08] But, you know, this is the section of Writing Black where we talk about recommended reading. And, you know, I like to call this section, “Mai Favorites”. And we would be remiss if we did not recommend a read by Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts. This is the, uh, co author on “I Did a New Thing”, but she’s also an author in her own right.
[00:46:28] And Black Joy, Stories of Resistance, Resilience, and Restoration. It is a personal favorite of mine. I come to it again year after year. I think just like “I Did a New Thing”. This is a great book that you don’t have to read in one fell swoop. You can read it in pieces. You can, uh, just tap in when you need a little dose of joy, which listen, we all do sometimes.
[00:46:47] Uh, so. Black Joy. That would be my recommendation for this week. And, you know, I hope wherever you are, you are trying new things, finding Black joy, and I’m so grateful that you come and hang out with us here on Writing Black, and I hope you will continue to do that. You can catch up on all Black episodes on theGrio Black Podcast Network.
[00:47:07] And until next time Be well and get in some good reading. Thanks so much for joining us for this week’s episode of Writing Black. As always, you can find us on theGrio app or wherever you find your podcasts.
[00:47:50] theGrio: I’m political scientist, author, and professor, Dr. Christina Greer, and I’m host of the Blackest Questions on theGrio’s Black Podcast Network. This person invented ranch dressing around 1950. Who are they? I have no idea. This all began as an exclusive Black History Trivia Party at my home in Harlem with family and friends.
[00:48:11] And they got so popular, it seemed only right to share the fun with our griot listeners. Each week, we invite a familiar face on the podcast to play. What was the name of the person who was an enslaved chief cook for George Washington and later ran away to freedom? In 1868, This university was the first in the country to open a medical school that welcomed medical students of all races, genders, and social classes.
[00:48:36] What university was it? No, this is why I like doing stuff with you because I leave educated. I was not taught this in Alabama public schools.
[00:48:44] Question number three, you ready? Yes. Let me try to redeem myself.
[00:48:48] How did we go from Kwanzaa to like these obscure They’re not a sport, darling. This is like the New York Times.
[00:48:55] crossword from a Monday to a Saturday. Right or wrong. Because all we care about is the journey and having some fun while we do it. I’m excited and also a little nervous. Oh, listen, no need to be nervous. And as I tell all of my guests, this is an opportunity for us to educate ourselves because Black history is American history.
[00:49:14] So we’re just gonna have some fun. Listen, some people get zero out of five, some people get five out of five. It doesn’t matter. We’re just going to be on a little intellectual journey together. LaToya Cantrell? That’s right, Mayor LaToya Cantrell. Hercules Posey. Mmm. Born in 1754, and he was a member of the Mount Vernon slave community, widely admired for his culinary skills.
[00:49:34] I’m Afropunk. Close! It’s Afro nation. So last year according to my research it’s Samuel Wilson aka Falcon. Wrong, wrong. I am, I am disputing this.
[00:49:50] Very, very, very, very, very, 99. 999, sure. That it is Representative John Lewis, who is also from the state of Alabama. That lets you know, Christina, we got some goodness come out of Alabama.
[00:50:02] There is something in the water in Alabama, and you are absolutely correct. The honor they come. Close. Oh, wait. Uh, the heart of April? That’s right. I’m one of those people that just changes one word. I mean, I know who you’re talking to well. I just don’t know nothing today. It’s all right. I’m gonna pour myself a little water while you tell me the answer.
[00:50:19] The answer is Seneca Village, which began in 1825. for the purchase of land by a trustee of the A. M. E. Zion Church. You know why games like this make me nervous? I don’t know if I know enough Black. Do I know enough? How Black am I? Oh my lord, they, they gon we gon find out in public. So give us a follow, subscribe, and join us on The Blackest Questions.
