Barack Obama never had the luxury of being the angry Black man that some of us wanted him to be. He still really doesn’t today, even though he’s no longer sitting in the Big Seat. The best part of that is that Obama will likely die with the poise and grace that should be afforded a man who reserved his strongest public language for Kanye West.

The bad part is that he almost certainly has some grody shit to say about President Orange Fanta that only Michelle and the girls will ever likely to be made privy to. Even a year-plus after Obama left the White House, Donald Trump still finds ways to pop shit about him on Twitter. Like a brother can’t be out parasailing, drinking Mai Tais with Richard Branson unbothered and living his best life without cats taking shots at him.

Trump on Twitter has all the finesse of a bull running through a China shop with tap shoes. He leans on his rich white privilege to eschew damn near every convention normally associated with Obama’s erstwhile position, casually saying and writing shit that would’ve gotten BO assassinated within two weeks of his presidency.

In the spirt of Key and Peele’s famous Obama Anger Translator, I offer an alternate version: Obama’s Angry Tweet Translator. These are the tweets I would imagine Obama would rattle off on his Samsung Galaxy if he were ever motivated to drop the tongs at the cookout and go full-blown Southside Chicago.


6Obama vs. Trump on Russian Meddling


OBAMA: Now what I look like taking the rap for that wild shit you got going with the Kremlin?!? Just like a stale saltine cracker to blame a Black man for his crimes. I hope they lock you up in a cell jail with a bunch of Mexican immigrants and Haitian shamans.