Mental wellness guide: Five tips to survive the holiday season

Here are some suggestions to help you put yourself — and your well-being — first if you're finding the holiday season difficult.

‘Tis the season to prioritize your mental health and well-being!

During the annual holiday season, families join together to fellowship, eat delicious foods and catch up on the year’s events while anticipating the future. But in the midst of it all, many are coping with loss, medical conditions and financial difficulties, not to mention continuing to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic’s impact nearly three years later.

Finding ways to avoid this adverse effect on mental and physical health is crucial. Here are some suggestions to help you put yourself — and your well-being — first if you’re finding the holiday season difficult.

holiday season
During the holiday season, families join together to fellowship, eat delicious foods and catch up on the year’s events. But in the midst of it all, many are coping with loss, medical conditions and financial difficulties. (Photo: Allard Schager/Getty Images)
  1. What’s triggering you?

If you don’t know what’s provoking it, you can’t address the issue destabilizing your mental health. Stressful or painful memories, tense family dynamics or the anniversary of a loved one’s passing are a few examples of holiday triggers. Knowing your particular seasonal issue helps reduce emotional reactivity, as does making preparations to lessen the stress associated with the holidays. And it doesn’t hurt to journal through the pain.

  1. Talk to a professional.

The importance of therapy is often overlooked, especially in the Black community. Compared to 40 percent of whites, statistics show that 25 percent of Black people seek mental health therapy when necessary. As the holidays progress, it’s critical to remember that — as cliché as it may sound — it’s OK not to be OK. Consult a specialist if you discover that you are depressed, worried, unable to sleep or simply in a poor mood when you believe you should be spreading holiday pleasure.

  1. Stick to your budget.

While buying gifts for friends, family and other loved ones to celebrate Christmas is customary in America, it’s OK (and necessary) to keep in mind that you’ve been spending money brightening the lives of individuals you care about all year long. Make a budget for the upcoming year, and try your best to stick to it if you have already begun or finished your holiday shopping and find yourself in debt. If you still need to complete your shopping, be sure to budget your money, and make an effort to stay within that amount. Don’t berate yourself if you don’t have enough. Spend your time working on a DIY project instead or consider making a local donation.

  1. ‘No’ is a response, and sometimes it’s the only one you need.

Here is something I struggle with myself: “No” is a complete sentence. Letting those two letters flow from your lips can be extremely difficult, even when you know you should. A recent YouGov poll questioned 1,000 adult Americans about whether they believed themselves to be people-pleasers and how they felt about it if they were. Forty-nine percent answered that they probably or definitely would self-identify as such, with 14 percent in the “definitely would” category. Sadly, I fall into the 56 percent of women who definitely/probably would define themselves this way; 42 percent of men do. 

It can make you feel resentful and overburdened to say yes when you should say no. Your friends and coworkers will understand if you cannot participate in every project or activity.

  1. Relax.

Relax, please — even though it could be one of the hardest things to do, especially as you get ready to host and spend time with family. Some people might ignore the body’s plea to slow down and take a break, but I can guarantee you it’s not a request. Fortunately, everyone has a different idea of what relaxing is. Making time for yourself is crucial, whether you take a break, partake in a leisurely activity (reading a book or watching TV, for example) or even pause to breathe in front of the mirror. My favorite? Listening to music!

Remember that the holidays are a time to share love and joy. Some folks are experiencing their first Christmas without a spouse, mother, father, sibling, daughter or son. For some, it will be their last celebration. Whatever the case, keep in mind that many people often experience sadness throughout this happy season. Be kind, generous, loving, helpful and, at the very least, extend some grace to yourself and others.

Happy holidays!

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