Colin Kaepernick thegrio.com

Issa trap. That’s the first thought that should go through the head of anyone with good sense when they read that President Thanos green-lit a “race summit” that would involve quarterback-of-the-people Colin Kaepernick, Kanye West and other, as-yet-unspecified celebrities speaking about race issues in America with the end goal of….stamping out racism?!?

Any involvement with this inevitable shit-show would result in a clear public relations nightmare for any celebrity who doesn’t want to be seen as aligned with Donald Trump. Multiply that by 10 for any Black celebrity (see: Steve Harvey, Kanye West). And for Kaepernick…? It would break our collective hearts to a degree unseen since, well, Yeezy just this past week.

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Why would Kaep endure so much, including essentially giving up his football career, only to try to parlay with someone who publicly called him a son of a bitch for daring to kneel during the National Anthem? Trump already put a period on how he feels about Kaepernick’s actions. A summit sanctioned by him would accomplish absolutely nothing. My 1-year-old niece can see that shit is fishy, and she still uses the bathroom on herself daily.

Darrell Scott’s Trail of WTFness

If Trump’s involvement isn’t enough to convince you that this whole thing is shenaniganry at its finest (and it should be), look no further than the summit’s apparent architect: Darrell Scott, a Cleveland-based pastor and Trump “advisor.”

Scott is CEO of the National Diversity Coalition for Trump, which probably gets less annual funding than the cost of the soy caramel macchiato that I’m drinking right now. Scott got fried last year when he said he wanted to recruit Chicago’s “top gang thugs” for a summit to curb the violence in Chicago (this dude and his summits).

Because, of course, it made perfect sense for a guy from Cleveland – who’d get his whole ass handed to him for going anywhere south of 47th Street trying to seek “peace” while talking about “top gang thugs” – to head up such a thing. Unsurprisingly, that summit ended up being useless, not-as-advertised basura.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Scott just cooked up this opportunistic bullshit so he could get a few pictures with celebrities. Not sure where they dug up this Stepin Fetchit negro, but I’m not exactly surprised that he reps the shittiest city in the shittiest state in the union that’s not Florida.

As for West, he’s had his face buried so far up Trump’s ass the last couple of weeks that he might just continue pulling the soil over his career by agreeing to participate. The only reason I would want Kaepernick to attend is so he could bring one of those old-school JCPenney holiday catalogs, roll it up and bust Mr. Dragon Energy upside his head with all of his NFL quarterback might.

Just Say No to Summits

Of course, these summits make for quaint, if sometimes ill-considered, public relations events – we saw it when President Obama orchestrated the “beer summit” with Henry Louis Gates and the cop who arrested him for attempting to enter his own goddamn house. Then there’s the most recent “summit” between the Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson and the two black men who were kicked out of a Philadelphia Starbucks for breathing.

But this proposed race summit feels different – like it’s a nostrum to shut you N-words up about all your N-wordery and demonstrate that the president cares. Meanwhile, Trump has made it abundantly clear on more occasions that I have space to cite in this piece that he doesn’t have a lot of space on his docket for any who isn’t rich, white and American-born.

The diversity coalition’s website reads: “President Trump’s vision for the United States includes creating opportunities for men, women, and children of all racial, economic, and educational backgrounds.” You should be on the ground laughing now, unable to read the rest of this piece.  It’s almost as if Trump just greenlit this race summit to keep his house Negro Scott quiet.

Of course, if Kaepernick has any sense at all, he won’t go anywhere near this glad-handing bullshit. I’m pretty sure he does have sense, so expect this summit to have nothing to do with him. And expect the celebrities who do get involved to get cooked accordingly.

Dustin J. Seibert is a native Detroiter living in Chicago. Miraculously, people have paid him to be aggressively light-skinned via a computer keyboard for nearly two decades. He loves his own mama slightly more than he loves music and exercises every day only so his French fry intake doesn’t catch up to him. Find him at his own site, wafflecolored.com.