Prince Harry: Meghan let go of suicidal thoughts because it would be ‘unfair’ after Diana’s death
"The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now to be put in a position of losing another woman in my life," Prince Harry said.
In his new docuseries, The Me You Can’t See, Prince Harry opens up to Oprah Winfrey about the traumatizing evening when his wife Meghan Markle confessed that she was suicidal.
Harry recalls how in January 2019, Markle told him she was deeply depressed. At the time, she was pregnant with their son Archie and the couple had been married for less than a year. The prince says what ultimately prevented his wife from succumbing to her thoughts of self-harm was knowing how devastated he would be over losing another important woman in his life.
“The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now to be put in a position of losing another woman in my life — with a baby inside of her, our baby,” Harry explained in a newly released clip from the program.
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“The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t “lost it.” She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up,” he continued.
Harry also confessed that initially, he wasn’t sure how to respond to her confession, noting “I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them.”
Being a royal, a role that often requires you to be stoic no matter how you may feel personally, only made things more awkward.
“Because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s okay,” he explained.
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And to his point, the series reportedly shows footage of Harry and Meghan sitting together on that very night as the lights went down at the Royal Albert Hall in London right before she started crying.
“There wasn’t an option to say, ‘you know what, tonight, we’re not going to go’ because just imagine the stories that come from that.”
Looking back, Harry says that evening two years ago was the moment it hit him that he and his new family could not survive if things continued the way they were.
“While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,” Harry reflected. “I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family.”
“To be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need,” said Harry. “I then had a son who I’d far rather be solely focused on, rather than every time I look into his eyes, wondering whether my wife is going to end up like my mother and I’m going to have to look after him myself.”
The prince also told Oprah that he feared ‘history repeating itself’ after he began dating Markle, but for a reason many may not realize.
“My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone who wasn’t white,” he pointed out. “And now look what’s happened.”
After noting how “triggering” the last few years have been he concluded, “And it all comes back to the same people, the same business model, the same industry.”
The Me You Can’t See was released on May 20th and is now available on Apple TV+.
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